9. Bad Santa - Santa likes to fuck fat chicks in the ass.
8. Gremlins - The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.
7. Nightmare before Christmas - There's children throwing snowballs / instead of throwing heads / they're busy building toys / and absolutely no one's dead!
6. Lethal Weapon - Maybe we'll stay alive long enough for me to buy you a present.
5. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang - Merry Christmas, sorry I fucked you over.
4. Die Hard - "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."
3. Christmas vacation - Todd: Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?
Clark: Bend over and I'll show you.
2. Mens du sov - I've had a really lousy Christmas, you've *just* managed to kill my New Year's, if you come back on Easter, you can burn down my apartment.
1. It's a wonderful life - Merry Christmas, movie house! Merry Christmas, Emporium! Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building and Loan!
